L Par
A third attempt at charming, etc.Following
“She says the bible is all that she reads and prefers that I don’t use profanity. Your mouth was so dirty.”
Comfortable, John Mayer
:Sigh: ‘tis the end of the semester.
— Jess in response to my dream:
I was singing in a choir. Instead of standing in front of our music sheets though, we were all in sort of a reclined position in comfy bed-chairs with pillows and blankets. A boy is next to me singing and we happen to be sharing blankets. His knee slides over and starts to rub against mine. We hook up. I don’t remember anyone noticing.
I’d like to finish this paper (due on the 10th by 5pm) by lunchtime tomorrow so that I can get to studying for Theory of Financial Markets (exam on the 10th from 2-5 pm). My paper is about using public-private partnerships to make smart growth more feasible. It’s pretty interesting stuff and I’m learning a lot. Unfortunately, I’m not allowed to write more than 5 pages (zomg, I think I just said I want to be allowed to WRITE A LONGER PAPER FOR SCHOOL). Unfortunately, my TA will be reading this paper instead of my professor who actually knows about this stuff. I think my TA studies bees. I suppose the research and learning that I’m doing about PPPs is for me and not my TA or professor, but I also know that I put a lot of stock in validation by my superiors/ older men/ people I think are attractive.
And then I have a take home final due on the 14th. And then another exam on the 15th. And then another exam on the 17th. Joy.
V said my most recent email to the soc was vintage m*. So proud!
The view I woke up to this morning. Glorious.
Current obsession? Puerto Rican wedding & engagement videos. The one above is simply a video showcasing the bride, but I think it’s absolutely beautiful. Anyways, the guy’s website is here, and his videos are here.
Looking through his stuff, I was amazed at all the places people have chosen to celebrate their weddings in. I think when my time comes it won’t be hard at all to find a gorgeous outdoor locale.
Andrea, when you get engaged, I expect you to post a video like this of yourself. I especially would like scenes of you wearing your wedding dress in the ocean and releasing birds from a basket. After all, everyone knows that those are the things you do when you’re in love.
When I go to sleep drunk, I exit the world. I’m convinced of it. I wake up and think, “oh yes, that’s right, I am alive.”
Champagne hangovers are the worst.
I don’t usually post this sort of thing, but here we go; here are my guts.
A couple of weeks ago I had coffee with a Teach for America rep.
Side story on Lindsay and teaching. I have no fucking clue what I want to do with my life, but I keep falling into these teaching things. First with the elementary school debaters at Yancey. Then, this past summer at Explo. When I was much younger, my mother went to a psychic for fun with some friends. The psychic said that I was going to be a teacher and that my younger sister is going to be a journalist. My favorite childhood game was playing school. For the past 10 years, I have given very little thought to teaching. And then shit just sort of starts falling in my lap. V* recommended me to TFA. I get an email from them and decide that despite hearing not so great reviews of the organization, coffee can’t hurt unless you spill it in your lap.
Coffee goes really well and convinces me to apply to the next deadline (about a week from having coffee). I get my shit together and hit submit a few hours before the deadline. I try not to get excited, and casually wait for the Nov. 4th status update on my application. I’ve been invited to do a phone interview. Awesome! So, I’m very excited about this because it means that my resume doesn’t blow, my cover letters are better when my father doesn’t try to help, and I might actually have a job next year.
But what else does it mean?
This evening I got together with a bunch of UVA- Explo people that I worked with this summer. We drank mulled wine (dude, it rocks) and sat around an outdoor fire. It was perfect. On the way home I drove by Appletree and almost cried. TFA and most other jobs that I will apply to mean I will almost certainly be leaving Charlottesville after graduation.
Side story on Lindsay and the FUTURE. I’ve had a really hard time with picturing the future lately. In every other transitional period in life I’ve known what I was doing next. Within a month of this time 4 years ago I knew that I’d be at UVA. But now, I have absolutely no clue. It’s really kind of morbid actually— not being able to see yourself in the future.
How much of your life is supposed to be about you? How much is supposed to be about the rest of humanity? It would make me happy to have an alright job in Charlottesville. But, am I supposed to do something more? How much of your involvement in humanity should be linked to your job? Am I totally doomed if I don’t start my “real life” next year?
And so we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.
I think that’s enough of that for one evening. Sorry for the tumblr-vom.
I would like wings right now.i could tell you how to have a good evening, orrrrrrr i could just show you pictures like this.
sometimes i wish i could just drop the computer and walk away, Def Jam Comedy style.
